A great blogger, Kathy Garland from Kwoted, posted about a BFF breakup recently. Her post made me think about a BFF I once had and how I miss that relationship.
Let’s call her X (I won’t use her real name). X and I became good friends when we started skipping classes together in High School. Funny how you can bond over small things. I hated French and Data Processing classes…she just hated school. After we graduated, we went to different community colleges, but we bonded over shopping and clubbing and having a ton of fun being young adults enjoying life.
X would sleep over sometimes because her mom would lock her out of the house. There was this one time, we went clubbing and when we dropped her off, she couldn’t get in. We always knew to wait in case that happened, so she slept over at my place. Somehow her mom knew she was at my house (I only lived 3 blocks away), and came banging on our door at 8 in the morning demanding we give her back her daughter. My aunt was visiting us from Ontario took offence to that. There was a small argument between the adults, and X slowly slumped out the door with her mom. I was told to never hang out with her again….which only made our friendship stronger. We told each other everything and spent countless hours together. She was always there when I needed her.
Over the next few years, our relationship was solid, until one day it wasn’t. Maybe because I started to settle down, I had found my Mr. Right and she was on shaky ground with her long time boyfriend…..they ended up breaking up. I guess we didn’t have as much in common anymore. She still wanted to go out and party and I wanted to be with my Mr. Right at home and save money. We eventually only met up once in a blue moon for dinner…I slowly stopped calling her my best friend.
When I got engaged, I didn’t ask her to be my bridesmaid because I didn’t know if I could count on her. She had a tendency to be too busy all the time and never had time for me anymore. I did ask if she would like to speak at the reception, and she accepted. Her speech was bitter sweet and we cried, laughed and hugged at what she said. Bitter because after my marriage, we saw even less of each other.
I’ve now been married 4.5 years and I’m a mother to a 2.5month old baby. She hasn’t met her yet. I think I was able to tell her I was pregnant in person, at our now maybe once a year dinner. I invited her to my baby shower, but she couldn’t come. She did send a present for the baby. She’s never visited the new house my husband and I purchased back in Sept. 2015. I know I don’t call her my BFF anymore, because I can’t. We haven’t been there for each other. I’ve reached out so many times and I’m tired of giving so much energy and not receive anything back.
I miss her. I hope we’ll have our once a year dinner soon. Or at least have her return one of my text messages.