I had a really tough day yesterday. I woke up, went through my morning routine, kissed my husband goodbye as he went to work and fed Alli her first meal of the day.
Then I just started having these thoughts that I’m not spending enough quality time with my daughter. Even though I spend all her waking moments with her. I then started to think about not wanting to be a mom because I felt like I’m not cut out for it. I started thinking about how maybe I’m not doing enough for her. I started to think about a lot of things… I had a tough day…
I cried it out. I told my husband he needed to come home on time because I needed him. I needed his support and his reassurances. I needed someone to tell me that I was doing everything I can for our baby girl and that no mom is perfect.
And then I was on Facebook trying to get my mind off things. One of my friends commented on one of my posts and gave me a compliment without knowing how I was feeling yesterday and said how I was such a great friend and listener and that I’m going to be an awesome mom. She has no idea how badly I needed that compliment at that moment. She brought me down from the ledge. My mind started focusing again. I started to realize that I’m not doing a bad job because Alli is healthy and happy and growing.
I then started to tell myself that I’m going to be ok, that I’m able to do this. I can do this. I am doing this. Instead of letting my mind get out of control, I took control. Mind over mind.
Yesterday was a bad day. Today is a new day and a much better day.