Mind over Mind

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I had a really tough day yesterday.  I woke up, went through my morning routine, kissed my husband goodbye as he went to work and fed Alli her first meal of the day.  

Then I just started having these thoughts that I’m not spending enough quality time with my daughter.  Even though I spend all her waking moments with her.  I then started to think about not wanting to be a mom because I felt like I’m not cut out for it.  I started thinking about how maybe I’m not doing enough for her.  I started to think about a lot of things… I had a tough day…

I cried it out.  I told my husband he needed to come home on time because I needed him.  I needed his support and his reassurances.   I needed someone to tell me that I was doing everything I can for our baby girl and that no mom is perfect.  

And then I was on Facebook trying to get my mind off things. One of my friends commented on one of my posts and gave me a compliment without knowing how I was feeling yesterday and said how I was such a great friend and listener and that I’m going to be an awesome mom.  She has no idea how badly I needed that compliment at that moment.  She brought me down from the ledge.  My mind started focusing again.  I started to realize that I’m not doing a bad job because Alli is healthy and happy and growing.  

I then started to tell myself that I’m going to be ok, that I’m able to do this. I can do this. I am doing this.  Instead of letting my mind get out of control, I took control.  Mind over mind.

Yesterday was a bad day. Today is a new day and a much better day.  

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