During my pregnancy, lots of parents warned me about the sleepless nights and how the first 4 months is going to be the hardest. When we first brought Alli home, we were lucky that she was a great sleeper! I say this because she would fall asleep after every feeding and sleep until she had to wake up to fed again. I still had difficult nights though because as a new mom, you’re supposed to wake your baby every 2-3 hours to feed. We do this to make sure the baby is eating and to make sure our breast milk comes in. It was hard because she was losing weight and I was worried she wasn’t eating enough… I was also pumping milk to make sure more milk would come in. With pumping milk, there’s a lot of cleaning you have to do too and it’s washing the equipment every time you use it!
I had thought that was the hardest 2 weeks ever! Not only have I not had a good night sleep since November 08 (the night before my water broke)…. but I was still so sore from labour and healing from my tares. I literally felt like I was hit by a truck because everything hurt! I could barely stand for more than 15 minutes… and I wasn’t sleeping for more than 2 hrs at a time…😪. But by week 3… things were turning around, Alli was sleeping a bit longer and I was healing. I also had my mom here living with us helping me cook, clean and grocery shop…
Things were actually going great by then and I was going out for short errands with the baby and feeling normal. Fast forward to now, week 7… mom has gone back to Ontario, we’re doing everything ourselves, the busy holiday season and Alli’s sleeping patterns going haywire…I’m having a tougher time now.
For example, last night Alli was difficult. She just wanted to stay awake and be fussy all night. She didn’t want to feed, she didn’t want to sleep, she didn’t want to lay in bed… she needed to be held and bounced and walked until 4am… I’m exhausted…Kent is exhausted because we were in the same bedroom…I finally went into the nursery with Alli to let Kent get some sleep…and miraculously she finally fell a sleep for a few hours after I tired to nurse her for the millionth time last night….
Parenting is hard…keeping your baby happy is hard….and with so much information out there to ‘help’ you be a better parent is confusing and makes me feel more of a bad parent than a good one… You read all this advice on what to do and where your baby is according to the development charts and constantly wonder if you’re doing enough for her, or if you’re doing the right thing for her.
I just want to raise a healthy child, who feels loved and cared for and who will eventually grow up to make the right decisions for herself and not be pressured or persuaded to use drugs! Is that too much to ask? These days you see so many horrifying news stories about people overdosing on drugs it scares me. You can do everything in your power as a parent to love them and teach them, but ultimately if they decide to try drugs once…that’s once too many and they could get a bad dose and…..well let’s not go there.
Parenting is hard… and it’ll be hard forever because I’m now a forever parent. Once you become a parent you can’t un-become a parent…. you just try to do the best you can for your child. At least that’s what I tell myself every time she cries… just do your best to soothe her and make her feel as loved as she is.
Yes. Being a parent is HARD.